The Mad Hatter's Party
by Coffee Papers
Summary: Matsumoto, as usual, has something up her sleeve. Too bad not even Hitsugaya himself can stop her schemes from coming into fruition. Well, it may be for his own good... and Hinamori's.
1. Chapter 1

_(Rated T for Language)_

**DISCLAIMER:** Not mine. Do not want. BLEACH (c) Tite Kubo

(A/N: This is my first multi chap story. Wooooot. Be nice and give coffee.)

**"THE MAD HATTER'S PARTY"**

**~Chapter I~**

_ "On bright sunny days when skies are bluest of blue, not a minute goes by without me thinking of you."_

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Hitsugaya Toshiro, the renowned captain of the 10th division, never once thought he needed to muster any self-control. He was, after all, known for always being cool—literally and metaphorically.

But this time, he thought, it's war.

"DAMMIT MATSUMOTO!!" the young captain roared. "GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"

"There's no way I'm going to stand there and wait for you to bash my head open, Captain!" replied the ever-so-feisty vice captain while running straight for the door. "Besides!" she added after dodging an ink bottle, "Things worked out quite your way, don't you think?"

_ '…things worked out quite your way, don't you think?'_

_ '…your way, don't you think?'_

_ '…_your_ way…'_

Now that made Toshiro think twice about throwing the ink pen next.

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_ "Matsumoto, this isn't another one of your stupid schemes, is it?" asked Toshiro.  
_

_ "C'mon Captain! Since when did my oh-so-awwwwesome plans fail?" Matsumoto asked._

_ "Oh my, but it will take me all day to cite every single one of them. Are you sure you're up for it?"_

_ "Ha! I'm all ears, promise. _After_ the party, that is."_

_ "Tch. If this is going to be your usual drinking session with Kira, Abarai, and Hisagi then I doubt it. In fact, I doubt you could comprehend a word I say at all—whether or not you're sober."_

"_Oh for the love of---this is going to be fun and you know it!" she retorted._

_ Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. "Remember: I only allowed this since you promised me that—for once!—you'd do paperwork the whole day tomorrow. Honestly, it takes me more than patience and skill to restrain myself from wringing your neck. Slacker," he mumbled._

_ She pretended to feel upset. "S-So cruel! How could you, Captain?? But I bet you're going to love me for this!"_

_ "Oh joyous day... Callooh callay..." he uttered._

_ "Rangiku-san, let's start this party already!" Renji called from inside the 10__th__ division Captain's office-turned-party-place. "Everybody's starting to snore in here!"_

_ "Alright!" said Rangiku. "Let's get in there and mingle with everyone now, Captain! Seriously, you don't have to reprimand me at all. Chillax!"_

_ "I'm already at it."_

_ They then ended their little debate and went inside in silence—Hitsugaya with his usual scowl on, and Matsumoto as jovial and "bouncy" as ever._

_ As he closed the sliding door behind him, Hitsugaya looked up. He couldn't believe his eyes…_

_Cute cups? Intricately designed saucers? The sweet smell in the air? And what are all those lacy tablecloths for?_

_What the__…__ Matsumoto's idea for a party was…_

…_a _TEA_ PARTY__!?_

**~to be continued~**

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There you go! 1st Chapter submitted! (and edited!) Gee, it's so short, huh?

This story is in dire need of your critiques and support.

Now go click that "Review" button down there~_  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** BLEACH (c) Tite Kubo

(A/N: Special thanks to Sanction for being more than willing to edit this story.

**edit:** I truly appreciate all the comments I received. But, my beloved readers, I have one small favor I humbly ask of you: please **do not spoil **any part of my story to the others next time. _-cough Good thing there isn't much to spoil right now cough-  
_

Thank you and enjoy your coffee!)

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(Recap: Chapter I)

_What the... Matsumoto's plan for a party was..._

_...a _TEA_ PARTY!?_

(/recap)

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**~Chapter II~**

_'You've got to be kidding me,' Hitsugaya thought as he stepped further inside his office. 'Matsumoto isn't interested in stuff like this!'_

_"This smells fishy," he muttered under his breath._

_"I hear you," Zaraki Kenpachi, the 11__th__ division captain, said to him. "How the fuck did I and the rest of my men get involved in this boring girly stuff?"_

_"Ken-chaaaan!" barked little Yachiru. "You promised me you'd play with me today! Now just stay and be quiet. Sit! Sit!"_

_"I already am!" Kenpachi growled. "And quit pushing this empty teacup into my mouth!"_

_Hitsugaya almost grinned. This wasn't your usual tea party. 'Not with war-freaks in the room,' he thought. 'Zaraki Kenpachi, Kusajishi Yachiru, Madarame Ikkaku, and… that homo guy,' Who could have imagined that that drunkard Matsumoto would actually be into the traditional?_

_Across the table, Matsumoto, Renji and Hisagi were whispering, sniggering and laughing among themselves._

_'Weird,' Hitsugaya pondered. 'Usually, Kira's always present with these three stooges.'_

_He scanned the room for other visitors. For some reason, he didn't feel so pleased about this party. Something's missing. Or perhaps, someone. No, not Kira. But speak of the devil and the devil shall come: there he is, sitting comfortably on the couch chatting with…_

_Hinamori._

_Funny. An image of him kicking Kira off the couch randomly popped into his head. This made him feel slightly disconcerted. Then again, it was inevitable not to feel like bullying him, Hitsugaya reassured himself. Kira always looked so weak._

_He then averted his gaze, or rather glare, from Kira and focused instead on his old friend. Judging from her reactions—her soft giggles, the light pinkish blushes on her sweet face, her adorable, slightly-shocked expressions every now and then—it looked like she was having a really good time. Both of them. Toshiro decided maybe it was best to leave them for now. Maybe. For now._

_As if she felt him staring, Hinamori turned towards him. She then waved at him to come near and he all of a sudden felt a lot less edgy. Must be that smile of hers. It makes her glow and puts everyone else at ease._

_When Toshiro got there, Kira stood up and bowed. "Captain Hitsugaya."_

_Hitsugaya gave a curt nod back. He then turned to his childhood friend. "What about you?" he asked mockingly. "Aren't you going to show respect to a higher ranking officer?"_

_Hinamori's lips formed a moue. "Hitsugaya-kun, we're in a party! Formalities will ruin the light atmosphere." She patted the couch. "Come here and sit with us! I'm sure you're tired from all the day's work. It's nice that Rangiku-san thought of this wonderful event. And it's really kind of you to have agreed to her plan!" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Although… I didn't think she'd add Captain Zaraki in the guest list."_

"_See why I have a hard time having Matsumoto as my vice captain?" he said as he sat down beside her. "Not only does she idle around and drink almost every single day. She's also very—" Hitsugaya paused and turned to the side. From the corner of his eye, he could see Yachiru messing with Madarame and the homo guy. 'Probably something trivial again,' he thought.  
_

"_Yes?" Hinamori prodded, knowing her friend's attention got sidetracked.  
_

_He massaged the creases on his forehead. _"_Ah, well, she's also very…__ to heck with it—random!" he groused__. Hitsugaya had given up trying to think of a better euphemism for the word "scatterbrained"._

_Hinamori looked thoughtful. "Well," she muttered. "Um, take a chill pill, Hitsugaya-kun."_

_"And where did you get that from?" he asked with a raised brow._

_"You see, Rangiku-san taught me to say that whenever you talk about her. I was confused at first but now I understand why!" She stifled a giggle._

_"Harhar," he jeered back._

_"Uh, if you'll excuse me, Captain Hitsugaya, Hinamori-san," Kira nervously interjected. "I'll go help Matsumoto-san fix more tea." He then bowed and lurched away._

_"Awww… I feel sorry for Blonde Emofag. Don't you?" Yachiru suddenly jumped in front of them from the back of the couch._

_"Y-Yachiru-chan! Please, don't call Kira-kun that!" Hinamori pleaded. "Why would you feel sorry for him in the first place? Did something happen?"_

_"Bun Girl, you're too dense for your age!" she replied._

_"HEY YOU, PINK IMP!!" Madarame yelled. "You've such a huge friggin mouth for your friggin age! Stop horsing around and untie Yumichika and me this damn instant!"_

_"Shaddup, Baldie! You can stay bound to Homo-Homo for all I care!" She then skipped off and happily landed on Kenpachi's lap. "Now, Ken-chan! Drink with meeee!"_

_"My! Everyone's really energetic today!" Matsumoto announced. "Tea is already being served so let's all gather around the table! Er, pardon if it's quite small. Captain's the uber stingy type, you see. He won't even give me a raise!"_

_"WHY THE FU—"_

_"Hitsugaya-kun!" Hinamori said._

_"…Tch."_

_The table wasn't really that small. Everyone sat around it with enough spaces between them… with the exception of Madarame and Ayasegawa Yumichika. Yachiru seemed to have forgotten to release her two subordinates from the loincloth which tightly bound both their hands behind them. As to whose loincloth that was, let us not bother knowing._

_Seeing as everyone had already settled down, Matsumoto clapped her hands. "We have loads of dumplings and peach buns so go ahead and dig in, everyone! And no, Yachiru-chan," she added, glaring at her, "my boobs aren't part of the menu."_

_Everybody was so busy eating, fighting for dumplings and drinking tea that they didn't notice Matsumoto's smug grin spreading wider and wider across her face as she watched._

_Matsumoto waited for everyone to drink from each of their teacup._

_Ah, and finally, the result she's been waiting for…_

_"HIC!"_

**~to be continued~**_

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And there you have it! Chapter II! This one gave me a really hard time (but it was fun!). Kudos to the real writers out there!

Now. Give _me_ coffee. I need it. _-cough Critiques cough-  
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